Troyisms - Stupid things people say

Troyisms - Stupid Things People Say

Sometimes people say dumb things. These are actual quotes from Troy:

This is Jeff Gordens first rookie year…
Don’t be going up my road…
You give and you take but you never give…
Just go beyond your business…
Sometimes when it rains it snows…
No ends or buts about it…
You can never shut your mouth without talking…
Are you planning a deja vu…
You got to keep your nose out of your own business…
Sometimes I confuse myself…
My parents are charging me rent-free…
It’s not a Troyism if I correct myself…
I’m going to whip the crack…
I have a big pimple on the back of my back, and it really pains me…
I choose not to choose to make my own decisions…
I have water under my floor mats, I am a little eerie about this…
Please pass the florescent wrench…
How can I train anybody when I don’t know what I’m doing…
I got an ace up my hole…
I am not superstitious and will not admit that I am…
It was sleeting this morning; I did not know to speedup or slow down…
Get out of my distance…
I’m leaving at 2:30 or 3:30 whichever comes first…
I’ll be OK when I get through Friday, 8 hours down 24 to go…
I’m not taking any slack from Wolf…
You better get out of here right now while I still can…
I am practicing impotency…
I know who he is but I just can’t tell you…
There aren’t to many mistakes I have gotten wrong…
I thought I had a brain thought…
I hate the smell of burning flames…
I would rather have a bald spot on my head than inside my brain…
You have got to make it known to know…
All this rushing around will give you a heart attack, get ready to take notes…
If the child were an adult, he could makeup his own mind…
I’m going to get eleven out of ten…
My leg hole is as big as my waist hole when I put my underwear on…
If that falls it will hurt him in the head…
Don’t admit that I’m wrong till she tells you…
My butterflies are tight, if you must know these are my breasts…
If these people didn’t work here, I could get my job done…
If you’re going to expose it, then put it away…
It smells like dead toast…
How many lips did I ever give you Wolf…
As soon as we can figure out if the free deal is cheaper than the package deal, then we will get married.
Did those 15 packs of tenderloins all come off the rump? No off the hindquarters…
You obviously don’t understand the contemplation’s here…
I’m paying her to keep my mouth shut…
I need to ask my fiancée’s husband…
I don’t know anything about electricity, does it have anything to do with central air…
You can take 1 thru 51 and shove them up your butt, not the left side, not the right, but right up the middle…
Which is it, the left side, the right side or the middle? Both…
Why are you not left yet…
I am on drugs and I’m feeling a little ooze…
Are you guys learnable…
That’s not a quote, its the truth, did you know that a delicious apple has 5 nipples on it…
I do not adhere to this worlds sick standards, I make up my own…
I’m neglecting to hear you…
I will be off yesterday…
I don’t know if my basement is above ground or below, I have not looked out the window yet…
The biscuit knows how to assume the position...
Are you lip-syncing? Don’t you mean lip reading…
I open my garage doors to go in to my basement…
You will not be invited to the wedding, but you might be invited to the conception…
I was lying on the floor taking a nap and fell asleep…
I want to find your house, leave your car in the parking lot…
This is Troy Walker from Sprint; I will be out of the office from 4/17 PM till 4/27…
How many is 1 out of how many…
I think I better pull my pants up …
I have black spots on my peach’s fur…
My friend went to Africa to hunt gazebos…
I have these holes in my yard, their either mice or ground hogs…
I am not of the real world…
Are you dense or what, are you so slow that your behind…
When I speak your taking up my air, so just get out of here…
Why doesn’t anyone page me at my desk…
Thank you very much for my assistance…
I sent you a voice mail…
The Cowboys have synched the playoffs…
This conversation is null and void…
Thanks for your help Troy, “No problem send me the bill”…
You should be fortunate…
I have been miscued again…
You got to read between the boards to know these things…
Whenever listening to a message, it does not deserve to be measured…
I’m a size 38 and I’m never looking back…
She’s going to yell her gongs off at me…
You bald faced, no necked dork…
Bill they can’t expect us to do all this, were only one person…
Back to 51,stick it where the sun don’t shine…
#91, up yours…
We have a moral victory…
I was late this morning because I had to rub coconut oil on my biscuit's belly…
Let’s make sure we have marbles to marbles here…
I am going to have to call him and ream him a new hole…
I have more brain knowledge…
It is the Mirentha rights…
I expect a propology from you…
The biscuit and I got up at 3:00AM to practice for the baby…
It’s not an ism…
Don’t make me fix my ears…
Don’t be exploiting my boy…
My poop has a mighty fine smell and taste…
Just for the record, my sugar was low that day…
Did we fall out of the wrong side of the bed this morning …
Sometimes I get confused between my maiden name and my married name…
We had the game in the bag; we just forgot to come out of the locker room…
How can this thing increase without opening my tongue …
Bill has a stitch on the back of his back…
I don’t want to hear your mouth ever again…
Of course you would have to catch on that…
Does this caffeine free soda have caffeine in it …
I say a prayer every time I go down…
I practice Clinton sex…
My mind is like a vegetable…
Troy come in here. No I don’t, I refuse…
You are treading on thin water…
I will beat you to a pole…
I saw what I saw…
You know exactly what you’re talking about…
Your desk is so well organized and your life is so well in line, you must be melancholy…
When it’s snowing, keep your foot off the gas and you will be OK…
Don’t come any closer because I am in direct contact right now…
Give me back my paper, I haven’t read the first front page yet…
My hillbilly hereditary comes from the mountains of Huntington county…
I didn’t lose any money. I lost five…
If I want you to speak, I’ll squeeze you…
Are you not always ready Troy? ready for what is the question…
I got the brains and the looks in my family…
I do not have time for personal hygiene, I do not have time for breakfast, I am the elected one, I am the one who has to put him together every morning…
I had an electric weed wacker, now I have a motor less one…
I am maturing over time. I don’t quote as much…
Ben, I am not Jeff Gordens hero…
You don’t deserve my air…
Whenever they come and get me I’ll apply…
Please hand me the thongs so I can get my sausage out of the pan…
Was that movie based on a real movie…
Those politicians aren’t any better than me, their pants don’t cost any more than mine…
Having these boxes stacked so close to me brings the togetherness closer…
Don’t confuse the far away togetherness with the close up togetherness…
Well now were even now…
I am going to rechange history…
Luckenbaugh you should have tooken that book to your preacher…
I am going to call your wife and see what he say’s about it…
I know how to straddle the fence and not fall off. I haven’t got bitten yet…
A fisher was seen attacking a porcupine in the woods. Troy asked if the fisher was using a gun…
Until I know for sure, please keep a lid under it…
It was tag team infidelity…
It is not the money I am worried about. It is the integrity issue…
I am not a counselor, but I counsel people…
I’ve got Oklahomahaul this weekend, I hope they win…
I am the icon of this building when it comes to humor…
I’ve been quiet for the last couple months, unless you guys have been using things that aren’t patented…
“Hi dorkisboy”, I choose not to accept that…
I guess I’m going to need a pair of sunglasses because I’m going to need to see the reflective glare from the bald head on your top of your head...
I’m going to roll up my pant leg and worship the ground he walks on…
Is anybody in yet? It’s hard getting good work now days…
Let’s just say I have one foot off the bandwagon…
Quit leaving voicemail messages on my answering machine…
You don’t deserve being talked to right now…
My wrist is going limp. I don’t care if the truth about Jeffie comes out. I will understand…
How can I get from the South Rim of the Grand Canyon to the North Rim, without driving around the Canyon?
Why is Tuesday's paper coming out on Tuesday?
Let me ask you an honest question. My grass is orange so when I mow the grass, my mower deck is orange. What’s wrong with my mower?
Don’t be messing with my spuds name……my reputation.
Thank you for that geographic educational.

These are not really Troyisms, but I need to include them also

I don't scare you!
I'm just thinking in my head.
Quit talking about me in front of my back.
3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the population. (This is a lost Troyism)
Shut the door! It's cold out here!

If you know of any that you would like me to add, please E-mail me at: